The difference between a coping mechanism and a healthy impulse or resource can be blurry, as sometimes a thing is both. But if I have to make a distinction it would be this: a coping mechanism is used to keep one from going into overwhelm or to manage habitual stress, while a resource or healthy [...]

If you are feeling exhausted, spacey, can't concentrate, disconnected, or numb. Or, on the flip side - very agitated, angry, tense, or irritable. It’s okay, and normal, to have moments of all of these experiences as we are working with our system, but if these kinds of experiences persist longer than a few minutes, then [...]

Yes, totally normal and a good thing. It may not feel like a good thing, because of the discomfort, but there is simply no way to heal this stuff if we are numb. As we say - if you can feel it, then you can heal it! This is also why it is SO important [...]

Totally normal. This is so common in our achievement-based culture, so even going at your own pace often means doing some significant re-wiring work. The benefits of honoring the needs of your own system cannot be overstated, so have a talk with that part of yourself that is frustrated - care for it, let it [...]

Big picture answer - keep doing the work. Waking up in a panic is a common expression of a system that is holding a lot of unresolved fight/flight energy, and it is by doing the steady work to clear that out and restore regulation that this will resolve. Small picture answer - in the moment, [...]

There are often big events that are traumatic, even though they have been normalized and may not seem big by society's standards. Things like circumcision, early surgeries or severe illness, choking on food - these are all pretty big events to a young system. But more often in our society it is the things that [...]

Above all, work on yourself. This is the most effective thing we can do, especially if our kids are still young. As we get more regulated and resolve our trauma, the benefit of that will automatically ripple out to them. This is the MOST important thing. In addition... Start a therapy fund! This may sound [...]

When this is the case we want to err on the side of caution, especially if everything seems fine while doing the lesson, but then we have a big blow up or crash later on. If this happens then revisit the lesson and only do a bit of it, like 5 minutes. Then see what [...]

This is indeed a common experience, and the reasons why could be many. It may have to do with the direction that threat came from, or if the stressor or ‘bad thing’ was associated more with the left or right side of the brain. It may also have to do with postural dynamics, or repetitive [...]